If I were a Jedi...

... I would use my telekinetic powers to fly on an awesome piece of metal to work every day, like the silver surfer! Then I would type with my telekinetic powers so that I can eat and work at the same time.

I would make Michael fall every time he entered the room, and I would carry Lutz coffee for him, when I got the opportunity. I would also make Simeon drop his pants in awkward situations all the time. There's so much I would do, I could go on and on and on...

I could get drunk and still be kick ass!

I'll let the video of the young Michael speak for itself:

Btw, just saw a movie called Kick-Ass!

I must say I was not impressed in the beginning, but later on it became pretty awesome even though it is a bit cliché. I don't regret going and seeing it. Gave me a good laugh!